is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
