Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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