The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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