I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
