she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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