the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
