I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
