Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
