Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
