I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
