Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
