i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont even know how to be here
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
