Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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