i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
