OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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