I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
