I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
