when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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