woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
