I cockslap morals
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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