shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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