where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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