she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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