I can tuck mytits in my pants
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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