I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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