but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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