2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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