You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize