$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
