Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
