she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just puked most of my soul out..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
