I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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