At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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