ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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