I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
