I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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