i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
