im gay
i know
yea but for you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
