She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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