is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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