bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize