What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
