Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
