She is in my trunk
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
