I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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