he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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