So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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