i don't like sucking hair
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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