So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
