I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
