Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
