You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
