he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
