i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize