I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
