So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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