Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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