i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
