I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize