having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
