She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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