We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
