never play flip cup with pint glasses
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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